Lessons Learned
by thelalilulelo2014
Summary: Lessons from the past can be learned differently. Lessons learned in the present can muddle the past. There are lessons never to be unlearned. But learn, they must. Post-finale.
1. Pity

Lesson 1: Pity

"Appealate jurisdiction will be taken up by the third national court in two weeks. Until then, the prisoner will continue to be confined at the capital's highest security institution of mental health."

So that was it. So that is how far Fire Lord Ozai's protégé have fallen out of political prominence. To have her fate decided by a lowly national court, bound and gagged, unable to voice any objection, a tool for extremist proponents of the old regime. No semblance of the princess's unrivaled glory remained in pyrite eyes.

All Azula had left was pride.

"Oh 'Zula, I'm so sorry! That nice old man was saying so many big words, I thought he would get you out for sure!"

"Ty Lee, that was the prosecutor."

Azula glared at the two Kyoshi warriors intruding on her thoughts.

Not getting the clue, Ty Lee shook her head animatedly, "but Suki, he said so many nice things! He even mentioned Azula masterminding the Ba Sing Se take over, right Azula?"

The addressed silently prayed to what ever being, that the daggers she stared was as lethal as the blunt trauma that was the pounding of her Ty Lee- induced headache.

Obviously not. Unhindered by daggers propelled by burning gold eyes, the acrobat produced a bundle from her uniform.

"Look! I snuck it in, it's not much, but I added extra chili sauce, just the way you like it!" Ty Lee placed the bowl of noodles, still hot from the most well-know stall in town, inside the cell with a bright smile on her face.

Finally noticing the air of resentment emanating from the cell, she gave Suki a nervous glance before opening her mouth to continue, "um...if you don't like it Azula, I could-"

The former princess picked up the bowl, icy gaze never wavering, turned the bowl over and allowed the contents to splatter to the floor before setting the bowl back upside down*.

Ty Lee's face fell. Suki straightened herself up from the door sill as if ready for confrontation. The prisoner retreated to the darkest corner of her cell.

"Peasants refer to me as Princess Azula-"

Suki made derisive noise from the doorway.

"- but as it is now, that would be a cruel mockery, wouldn't it?" The fallen princess continued as if never interrupted, a bitter smirk playing at her lips.

Ty Lee let two angry tears fall from her eyes before forcing an awkward laugh escape from her lips.

"You silly! You should have just said so, _Princess_!"

"Don't."

" _Princess_ Azula-"

"Stop."

"I am so terribly sorry as to have affronted your royal highness, _Princess_ Azula."

Azula turned around, staring as intently as the sedatives would allow at a piece of mold in the corner of her cell.

"Traitors have manners and smiles, and knives for your back. Rule one of palace politics. How did I ever miss that?" Almost perfect. Almost. If not for the hoarse vulnerability the pervaded each word.

Grey eyes softened into a look of mortification.

"Wait. I didn't mean that."

"Tell me, when do you ever mean what you say?"

"Azula. I am so sor-"

"Don't you dare."

Ty Lee open her mouth again, but no words came. She was vaguely aware of a hand on her shaking shoulder.

"Don't you dare pity me."

"Sorry," Ty Lee whispered to the floor.

Azula allowed herself a bitter chuckle at this victory.

"No. No, you have no right to be sitting there accepting apologies, former princess of the Fire Nation Azula," Suki's voice broke the strained silence.

Azula winced at being addressed by a title even more contemptible than none at all.

"You are a symbol. A relic from an era of hatred and bloodshed. The whole world condemns you." Suki paused, keeping her voice level and impassive. "More than anything, you are nothing. Everything you have ever known is wrong. You have nothing. Yet you still cling onto your sins. If that's not pitiable, I don't know what is; though it's not like you deserve pity from anyone, to begin with."

"Suki, stop." Ty Lee tugged at the older girl's arm, "Let's just go."

"All you have now, Princess Azula, is this poor girl's misguided pity."

Suki tapped the door to signal to the guard that they were leaving. Ty Lee looked back regretfully at the sacrificed noodles before leaving.

The mold was still a point of interest for the dour princess. She just wanted-

* * *

_-to watch it burn._

_The mothfly fluttered annoyingly close to her face. She straightened her calligraphy brush fighting the urge to roast the offending pest._

_Turning back to her work, her peace was interrupted this time by soft laughter. She spotted her mother and brother loitering by the pond. She sighed, her father would certainly bring it up during dinner. Yet another peaceful meal ruined by idiot Zu-zu skipping lessons for a headache or stomach ache. The young princess couldn't wait._

_Smirking to her self, she gathered her things. She took the long way back to her room, avoiding the pond. She hated those turtleducks._

_She could have sworn the mothfly was following her. She studied the struggling gnat disinterestedly. A certain spiderfly was to make a meal of the pest that night. Serves it right._

_"Well then. You only have yourself to blame for this," she said over her shoulder as she walked away, "the crimes you must have committed to have been reincarnated into such a weakling**."_

_She sighed. Typical. She watched the mothfly still squirming on the web three hours later. Survival spurs on even the most pathetic of creatures._

_Out of childish curiosity more than anything, the young princess lighted the edge of the web, watching the flame make it's way towards the struggling prisoner. At the last moment, she allowed the flame to smolder and die, freeing it. The mothfly glided for a few feet before crashing to the floor, a sacrificed wing still attached the remnants of the smoking web. Fluttering lamely on the floor, it slowly stopped moving save an occasional twitch, defeated._

_"How pathetic. Not even worthy of life." Prince Ozai emerged from the where he was observing his daughter. "Do you pity this creature, Azula? You will only condemn it to a worthless existence."_

_Keeping her composure at her father's sudden appearance, she looked up and met his gaze steadily. She understood immediately what her task was._

_The mothfly didn't move as she burned it. Out of the corner of her eye she saw her father smile, content with her wordless deference. She swelled with pride._

* * *

_"Your cousin Lu Ten was killed in battle."_

_She hated the matching looks on her mother and brother's face. She hated their tears and sad eyes. They were weak. She looked away, something was unbearably heavy to her nine-year-old body when her she looked at their red-rimmed eyes._

_Weakness threatened to be infectious._

* * *

_"What's wrong with that child?" Her mother's voice came from behind her as she went to prepare for the audience with the Fire Lord._

_She sighed. Her mother was a fool, nothing more than the wife of the Fire Lord's son with no pride or ambition of her own; pitiful. A woman ensnared by the web of lies and deceit that was the Court. She will be different than her mother. She must be. She deserved life._

* * *

_"What did you say?"_

_She looked up at her mother disinterestedly, though she instinctively widened her eyes, feigning innocence, " I was merely stating the facts. Uncle is a fool for not giving Ba Sing Se it's due retribution for killing one of our royals."_

_She saw Zuko give her a hopeless look from beside her._

_"Young lady! How could you say such a thing? Think about how your uncle is feeling right now!"_

_"Yes mother. Which is why I'm pointing out how irrationally he is acting. Surely he is returning to be coddled by kind, empathetic souls like you, shirking his duty as a general. If father was there he would be standing in triumph over the ashes of their city, instead of retreating with his tail between his legs with no glory or honor." Her mother's lips were just a line. "What's wrong with that man?" She ended, echoing her mother._

_Their discussion should have ended there. They usually did. Not today._

_"Your uncle is grieving. There is nothing wrong with that," her mother replied with in a deadly voice unbefitting her, " he is more honorable than your father. If you keep following in his footsteps, you'll become as cold and cruel as he is." She spat the last part bitterly, a tone of dark understanding in her voice. Her brother gasped, their mother had never questioned their father in front of them before._

_She put on a smirk, not missing a beat, " There is nothing wrong with that? Of course there isn't. There never is anything wrong to you, mother. Let's win the war with kindness and incompetency, shall we?" She didn't know why she was raising her voice, it shouldn't have matter this much, "your brand of kindness is a sham! Young lady, this. Young lady, that. Nothing is wrong with anyone but me!" She raised her fists in the air in frustration._

_Her mother visibly flinched, looking almost fearfully at her daughter, "because you were born to be just like your father. A monster." She whispered shrilly to the floor._

_"Is that why you try to make my brother like you? A weakling. He really is quite the vanity project for you isn't he, mother? You idle your days away, because you have nothing going for you. He's different. He is a prince of the greatest nation in the world. And you're ruining any potential he ever had. Your so-called kindness is superficial. You pretend to care about being a mother. But I see. I see you look off into the distance like we don't even exist. The most cold and apathetic one is you. You have no passion for anything at all. You're. Pitiful." She turned away smirking. She wanted to laugh. Laugh at her mother's tears because finally, she's won. Finally, she's elicited a response from her mother. Finally, she's been acknowledged._

_She walked away, not in retreat, but in victory. She heard Zuko yell something behind her._

_"How could you call her that, mother?!" Her brother ran up behind her._

_She turned around and narrowed her eyes at him._

_"Azula, are you okay? Mom didn't mean it, she's just sad Lu Ten is...gone."_

_"I'm fine. I'm not the one poisoned by her own delusions." She crossed her arms._

_"Then...why do you look like you're about to cry?"_

_Her anger flared. "I am not!" Her voice was painfully shrill. "Don't you dare feel sorry for me!"_

_Her brother set his jaw, and furrowed his brows. "Why do you always lie, Azula?! We all saw you crying when we found out Lu Ten died! You're sad he's gone too! Stop trying to be dad!"_

_"Well then, you should stop trying to be mom!" She wanted to burn his stupid eyebrows off._

_The doors to the drawing room opened, and Prince Ozai entered briskly. "The Fire Lord will see us now." He scanned the scene before him, displeasure staining his face, "What happened?"_

* * *

_She did it. She knew from the moment she landed. Her father was smiling. She was proud, and as long as she had pride, she was worthy of life._

_So she was proud. Even when her mother questioned her about the Fire Lord's order, voice hostile, hands painfully strong upon her small shoulders. Even as her mother's eyes screamed 'monster' at her as she spoke. Even when her mother disappeared with out saying goodbye._

_She had woken up knowing her mother was gone. She visited the burnt spot in the grass where the mothfly had been._

_Using Zuko's favorite knife, she carved a wooden marker, and stuck it in the grass. She smirked, a face she wore naturally now, the neat little characters becoming words in her mouth._

* * *

"You finally got away." She muttered in the darkness, watching the ghostly silhouette disappear back into the fringes of her consciousness.

She was 'asleep,' again, it seemed. There were scorch marks on the far wall. She didn't remember moving, she was still staring at the mold. Her lack of dinner seemed to invalidate her memory.

She laid down on her dirty cot, waiting for real sleep to wash upon her. It never came.

She rolled over, and glared at her protesting stomach.

"You're pathetic." She whispered to the traitorous organ.

"And you." She fisted her greasy locks, raising her voice.

"But especially you!" She yelled at where her mirror used to be, before it was deemed too dangerous an amenity. She didn't need it to know what she looked like at that moment.

She glared at the mold again, ignoring her reflection in the not-mirror smirking at her. Something unbearably heavy settled itself in her chest.

'Daddy's not here to be proud of you anymore.' Chimed the monster in the mirror.

She closed her eyes.

'So then, tell me,' she knew the demon was grinning now. 'What exactly _do_ you have to be proud of?' She knew that sardonic croon. It was hers.

"I conquered Ba Sing Se."

'And now that fool with the bear sits upon its throne.'

"I killed the Avatar."

'Now he parades the streets you conquered as a hero.'

"I'm a prodigy. Only born to the world once every hundred years."

'A prodigy that cannot even make a spark without your keepers starving your strength away.'

She flinched.

'Well? Nothing?'

'You know what that means.'

'You're pathetic.'

'Not even worthy of li-'

"Shut up!"

The fiend chuckled.

"I know..." she whispered, but the image was gone.

Father was not here to be proud of her anymore.

All she had now was Ty Lee's damned pity.

" But I still... want to live."

She crawled towards the greasy mess next to the upturned bowl. She didn't remember sinking to her knees. She began eating handfuls of cold noodles with a fervor unbecoming of a princess, but the intensity in her eyes were very much Princess Azula.

* * *

Notes:

* In Cantonese, a dialect of Chinese, there is a slang phrase, literally "you eat a bowl of noodles, then turn it upside down," that is the same as telling someone they're a traitor.

** In Chinese mythology, the moth represents recently deceased relatives or ancestor guides. Most would avoid hurting moths. Also, in Buddhism reincarnation is based on the deeds or karma of the current life.


	2. Shame

"So you want our help?"

"Was I unclear?"

Unfazed, Suki continued, "and you want us to bail you out?"

"To be exact, I'm asking Ty Lee for help. And I'm asking to be removed from this facility, because as you see, I am now cognitively sound."

Ty Lee jumped at the sound of her name, looking quite lost from behind Suki. It was obvious she was not sleeping well.

"U-uhm... well if you needed help all you had to do was ask, Azula!" Ty Lee laughed awkwardly.

"I just did." Princess Azula narrowed her eyes disgustedly at the intermittent tremor of the acrobat's hands.

"Oh! Right! What did you need?"

"I want to leave."

"Right. You can't do that. There are a lot of guards." Ty Lee's brow furrowed, trying to recall all the checkpoints they had to pass before entering the cell.

Azula gave an exasperated sigh, rubbing her temples. Suki chuckled bitterly.

" Yeah. I'm not crazy anymore. Tell them that so I can leave."

"Really? Are you sure?" Ty Lee blinked, as if to take a better look at the handcuffed girl.

Azula laughed humorlessly.

"Yes. My mother personally visited me. She promised not to bother me anymore. Had some business with Fire Lord Azulon, I suppose."

" Your ...mother?" Suki asked.

"Yes, quite a horrible woman; loves forcing her opinions upon others. No tolerance for talent either."

Silence pervaded the room.

"Oh, I see. You're surprised I came about like any other human being. It's true. I sprung from a womb, just as you have."

"It was a joke, obviously," Azula prattled on, enjoying herself, "it's okay, take your time to laugh, I know jokes are a little hard for you to understand, Ty Lee."

Suki cleared her throat.

"Princess Azula, you're a war criminal. We can't just take you out of here because you can say clever words again."

"I'm not asking you. I'm asking Ty Lee."

The addressed stared at her lap.

"As you can see, she's not interested in what you're proposing. And you can stop trying to appeal to her misguided sympathy for you, because it won't work."

Azula snorted derisively, "so, I understand that this is your boss, or leader or whatever now," she paused, to emphasize 'now', "but I seem to recall that you ran away from home to escape being a part of a matched set where your opinion didn't matter, Ty Lee."

"What?!" Suki's affronted voice echoed shrilly in the cell.

Azula smirked at her easy victory over the usually calm and collected Kyoshi captain.

"Now listen here you-"

"Do you ever feel bad?"

Large grey eyes looked imploringly into golden ones for the first time since the visits began. Azula grimaced inwardly at that determined face, wondering if the other girl ever thought herself a fool for chasing answers that will never come.

"What was that?" Azula asked dismissively, inspecting her chipped nails.

" Do you ever feel bad? About what you've done? About the war?"

"That would imply that I did something wrong."

Ty Lee sighed hopelessly.

" What? Are you disappointed that rotting in a cell has done nothing to sway me to the world of 'peace and love' the Avatar has created?"

When no one spoke, Azula took it as a cue to continue her oration, " well if you really wanted to know, I believe my conscience has visited me last night too. Another horribly unamicable person, probably takes after my mother. You can never please her."

"So you don't feel ashamed? At all?" Ty Lee flushed, unused to being toyed with after so long.

"No, but you do." Azula smirked, casually motioning towards the girl's trembling hands, "Is that a nervous tic? I didn't notice it before."

Ty Lee withdrew her hands from view, her disposition growing steadily more dour as Azula spoke.

"Tell me. Do you hate your country, Ty Lee?"

"Don't answer that. I already know the answer." She scowled, recalling unsavory memories, "How could I ever 'feel bad' for bringing glory to our great nation? The nation my forefathers have guided and ruled since the beginning of written history. Following in their footsteps, is my divine mandate. My actions should have been met with unparalleled honor."

"Talk about forcing you opinions on others." Suki huffed with arms crossed.

Azula gave her a steely glare. Suki grinned back.

"Think about it Ty Lee, during the time of Fire Lord Sozin, the Fire Nation, our Motherland, was met with unprecedented growth and advancement."

" And the War was our way of sharing our prosperity with the world. I've heard that already." Ty Lee cut in moodily.

" No. That was what the mindless masses were told. I told you to think, Ty Lee, I understand that's hard for you. But think. We are an island nation made up of volcanoes and mountain ranges. The growth and innovation would have been the death of us; our country would have imploded before we could use any of our wealth. We had no resources to our name, while Earth Kingdom philistines glutted themselves while oppressing their women and impoverished, reveling in their backwardness, bribery and inept bureaucracy, and growing rich through their monopoly on fuel they cannot use efficiently and land they cultivate to feed only their rich or powerful."

"Is that how you justify your war?! 'They're lives are shit anyways, why not take all they have for ourselves?!'" Suki's fist slammed against the table.

"Please. Every war there ever was were all motivated by material gain. It is just the victors that write the history books, and it won't be any different this time around."

"And what has the Earth Kingdom gained? The war has broken so many families, destroyed so many lives," Suki grimaced bitterly.

"Our colonies have brought in vast amounts of wealth for the Earth Kingdom; your outdated technology has been replaced by our own. War has it's own benefits: quite the equalizer when positions if power are decided by merit rather than family or gender isn't it? Furthermore, nothing stimulates the economy more than the need for tanks and forts built."

"Quite easy coming from the mouth of an aristocratic sociopath, isn't it? These are people's lives that you are talking about."

Azula chuckled as if she expected that comment.

" I'd worked for everything I had. Being royalty only made my tasks all the more difficult. Not that peasants can understand the tribulations faced by nobility, anyways. Born lucky, indeed." Her eyes narrowed, "And you're the last person I need to justify myself to. Your particular island idled the war away, shamelessly ignoring the cries of your countrymen to save your own skins. Not to mention how your position was probably afforded you through family rank. Inherited from an aunt or your mother, perhaps?"

Suki flinched.

"I thought so. Now tell me who the aristocratic sociopath is."

"You deny it then?" Ty Lee broke in, "You don't care about anyone! You've always looked down on the world. You still are! Even when you're on the bottom, you're still looking down on us all."

"Oh don't be so self-conscious! I'm perfectly aware of my position. I was just playing around."

"Of course you were." Ty Lee muttered bitterly.

The three women sat in silence.

"So why should I help you?"

"Oh Ty Lee, weren't you the one who offered to begin with? Though, I shouldn't expect you to keep your word, now should I?"

"H-how would we bail you out anyways? You're worth more than half a year's paycheck for me!"

Azula gave a wry smile at Ty Lee's uncharacteristically somber expression, " It's simple really, you can have me released by your confidence. It should be easy for a Kyoshi war hero, right?"

Azula smirked at the instant reaction to her words. If she had nothing anymore, at least she can still influence others with her words. Ty Lee's previously determined façade, crumbled back into vulnerable uncertainty. Suki was slack-jawed.

"Do you take us for idiots? Why would we slander the Kyoshi name to help you?!"

"There's more. Isn't there?" Ty Lee breathed grimly.

"Yes. I want to request that the Royal National Court take my case."

"What are you playing at, Azula?"

Suki looked questioningly at Ty Lee, while the prisoner merely smiled.

" The Royal National Court opens the possibility for the prosecution to demand execution as the highest sentence. You're only facing life imprisonment with the national courts. Why would you take that risk?"

Azula's smile only deepened.

"The ruling is decided by the Royal Council and the Fire Lord. They're all hoping to prove their loyalties to the new government, you'll be sentenced to death, for sure." Ty Lee continued her explanation impassively, save her trembling fingers.

"It's my right. I'm royalty."

" Your pride is worth your life?"

"Please. What is the difference between a life sentence and executing me on the spot? Also, the national courts are a sham. Over half the jurors will be Earth Kingdom. The judge will also bow to Earth Kingdom sentiment. Quite the kangaroo court, wouldn't you say? Hardly just. No one will know better though, the victors write the history books, after all."

"Half the jurors will be Earth Kingdom, because most of your war crimes were committed in the Earth Kingdom!" Suki cut in.

"Really? What exactly did I actually do that was so horrendous? Conquer, bloodlessly, the capital city of a nation my country was at war with for a century? Hardly an unorthodox or cruel military tactic. I'm a scapegoat, and you all know it!"

Another uncomfortable silence enveloped the room.

"We're leaving." Ty Lee concluded. She retreated with her head down her whole walk to the door. Suki followed suit after a minute, abandoning a rather weak come back she had thought up.

Azula sat back in resignation. She had made Ty Lee cry-

* * *

_-not for the first time. Only this time felt much, much worse._

_She rolled her eyes at the door the other girl had left wide open in her dramatic exit. Her friend was such a coward, always running away from confrontation._

_" Oh! Excuse me, I'm sorry."_

_Azula's face fell at the voice in the hallway. She glared at the doorway, hoping to will away the owner of the voice._

_No such luck. Lu Ten's head peeked into her room._

_" I...uhh... ran into your friend. Literally."_

_ She didn't stop glaring, but it seemed she was not gifted in telepathy. One couldn't be good at everything, it seemed._

_"What happened, kiddo?"_

_Her pillow had missed, but her candle holder had hit her cousin square on the forehead. Disgruntled, she sheepishly handed him the bundle of ice, and settled herself next to him by the pond._

_"Thanks," her cousin beamed her his goofy smile._

_She sighed loudly._

_"No turtleducks this time of year."_

_She made a noise of agreement._

_" They're cute, but it's nice to have some peace and quiet around here."_

_She shrugged moodily._

_"You cold?"_

_She glared at him._

_Lu Ten flinched slightly, but kept his cheery demeanor, "Right. Firebending prodigy. I was just asking. Don't want a concussion right before my next tour." He waved his hands in a sign of surrender._

_"You're returning to the Earth Kingdom already?"_

_" Hey! So you do speak!" He laughed obnoxiously at his own joke, but continued seriously, "well of course! My father is there."_

_"Perhaps you should stay a while longer."_

_"Aww... so you did miss me!"_

_Azula's expression was unchanged._

_"I heard you are going to be rolling in peasant filth," she wrinkled her nose in disgust._

_"Yes, well being in the front lines is the best way to gain experience. If I want to be a great general like my father, I need to work my way up. Waiting around in the tents is unbearably boring anyways."_

_The eight-year-old seemed to contemplate his words for a moment._

_"That's be cause you are an idiot and cannot comprehend the paramount significance of tactical superiority." She concluded matter-of-factly._

_Lu Ten chuckled good naturedly, " perhaps that's it."_

_"But perhaps...I could accompany you."_

_"Azula, you're the daughter of a prince."_

_"And you, the son of a prince."_

_"There will be filthy men, everywhere."_

_"A third of our soldiers are women."_

_"You're eight." Lu Ten began to pout, as he often did when trying to anticipate his opponent's next move in pai sho._

_"You're twenty three."_

_"Yes! Exactly! Which is why I don't need a cute little girl to protect me." He chuckled again, as if victory was in sight._

_Azula frowned at him._

_"You're a silly girl. You can just tell me you're worried, you know. It'll put a safety charm around me. A maiden's goodwill is the strongest armor a solider can wear." He gave her a reassuring smile._

_She narrowed her eyes._

_" Why would I care what happened to you? If you died, I would have less competition for becoming Fire Lord." She said carelessly as she could._

_"Wow, that hurts," he grabbed his chest in mock offense, "but if you really wanted to be Fire Lord, you could. Without breaking my heart and leaving it to die, preferably." He smiled with no bitterness._

_" Don't patronize me."_

_"It's true! You're almost as good a firebender as I was when I began my service. And infinitely better than I was at your age."_

_"Almost is not good enough," Azula muttered, mostly to herself._

_"You don't need to prove yourself to anyone, kiddo." He tried to pat his cousin's head affectionately, but she dodged him at the last minute._

_She stood angrily, hands balled into fists in frustration._

_" That's easy for you to say! You're the first born son of a first born son! You just have to do as you're told and the world will fall into your palms!"_

_"Azula! You're a prodigy, not only in firebending, but you're incredibly talented in everything else. How can you be so foolish?"_

_Her jaw clenched. How dare he? She tried to look down at him, but even standing, her eyes were still barely level with her cousin's._

_"What do you mean?" She berated herself for sounding so self-conscious._

_"You have no idea why you want to be Fire Lord, do you?" He replied humorlessly, for once._

_"The Fire Lord is the greatest person in the world."_

_"What about Fire Lord Lilong? Or Fire Lord Chenzhen? One was a ten-year-old child that allowed his mother's peasant sister to rule from the shadows. The other could barely firebend a pot of tea to boil. The Fire Lord is not infallible; they are mortal as you and I."_

_ Azula winced. Mortality was not a topic eight-year-old children, she hated to admit her inexperience, liked to discuss casually._

_" You're right. But the common denominator is that both failed Fire Lords had a much more capable female counterpart that did not get the throne. A cousin, and a sister, respectively. If I want to be Fire Lord I must be greater and more capable than even them."_

_Lu Ten sighed._

_"You're missing the point."_

_"You're making excuses."_

_"Fine. Let's talk about what you want. Those were examples from very long ago. This is the modern age. The position of Fire Lord should be awarded to the most qualified and merited, anyways." Lu Ten rubbed his temples. Azula wondered if he regretted poking his head through her door._

_"You're a fool, cousin. No matter how far into the future you look, the station of Fire Lord will always be a beacon, representative of the greatness of our nation through the ages. It is a seat passed through antiquity. Those in the royal family live in the past to build a glorious future. That includes living with all the customs and traditions of our ancestors. I will never be Fire Lord. Not unless I transcend myself." She finished glumly._

_"Man... you sound like a crazy old man."_

_Lu Ten chuckled. Azula couldn't stifle a chuckle herself._

_"I'm serious." She tried to frown._

_"Then I'll make it easy for you, kid. I'll try to catch a pebble in the eye or something. No one will want a one-eyed Fire Lord."_

_"Don't joke. You're not funny." She said, more seriously than she meant to be._

_"Right. That's why you half teared up just now."_

_"I was in tears from your lack of humor. It's too sad."_

"It wasn't you that had a tavern full of Earth Kingdom women hysterical with laughter." He winked.

_"They were pretending, so your troops would spare them."_

_Lu Ten opened his mouth. Then closed it, defeated._

_"Lu Ten!" A voice called from the far end of the garden._

_Azula scowled at the approaching forms of her mother and brother._

_"Wow, it's Zuko. You haven't murdered him for the throne yet?"_

_Azula glared at him, but decided to play along._

_"The plan has been set in motion." She said noncommittally._

_" That's dark."_

_"It is."_

_"Okay, listen. You wouldn't really, right?"_

_"Cousin, are you really so much of an idiot to take a joke you started, seriously?"_

_Lu Ten laughed halfheartedly._

_" Wait, where are you going? Have a picnic with your mother and brother and I."_

_She looked again at their approaching figures._

_" No. Goodbye, cousin." She began to leave, but turned around when she heard him get up to follow her, " I have an apology to give to my friend."_

_He sat down again, nodding understandingly at her explanation. She shuffled away towards her room._

* * *

_She watched her library burning dispassionately. She wanted to tear and crush and destroy everything in sight, but settled for watching some of her most prized possessions burn by her hand. She had failed._

_She berated and cursed herself voicelessly. Cowardice. Idiocy. She gritted her teeth thinking of everything she had said that afternoon. She was disgusted by her own unabashed show of self pity._

_"'Zula?" A small voice called from her previously closed door._

_"Hey Ty."_

_"What are you doing?"_

_" Ty Lee. I shouldn't have called you a useless weakling."_

_ Small hands held her shoulders and brushed away her tears._

_"It's okay. It's okay. There's nothing to be ashamed of."_

* * *

But there was.

"You're alone." Azula observed.

Ty Lee closed the cell door.

"Are you done hiding behind others, Ty Lee?"

Both women held matching frowns.

"I had another dream last night," Azula began, "it's so tedious growing old. All your dreams become of your youth."

"You're only sixteen," Ty Lee said dryly.

"And twice the failure I was than when I was eight."

Ty Lee watched the tremor of her fingers.

"Your friend called me a relic. It's true. I was born a child of war. Now that it's over, there is no place for me. It's a new world."

"Where are you going with this?"

" How is the Avatar any different? He claims to bring balance, but he is merely trying to keep the status quo from an age that has past. He is a relic from before we can even comprehend. He keeps the world stagnant in a time ruled by customs we know nothing about anymore, and the world willingly submits to his tyranny," Azula looked defiantly at the Kyoshi warrior, daring her to correct her.

No argument would come.

"How is he any different than I? An instrument of war. Where I defined the future, he stubbornly clings to the past!"

"You don't need to justify yourself to me."

Ty Lee looked to prepare to leave. Azula's fist clenched.

"I shouldn't have tried to make you risk your reputation for my own purposes."

" Is that an apology?"

"Absolutely not." Azula held her anger back, resisting the urge the scream and curse.

"There is no shame in asking for help."

"I'm not ashamed."

The women sat in a silence that seemed more familiar than their words before. Ty Lee never left the door frame, face impassive. An imperceptible amount of time elapsed, long enough for Azula's joints to stiffen.

"I'm leaving." Ty Lee said, but didn't move.

After what seemed to be a contemplative glance to an empty corner of the cell, the Kyoshi warrior produced two letters.

"The provisions of your release are that you cannot leave the capital, and you must stay with the Dragon of the West until you appear before the Royal National Court in two weeks time." Ty Lee recited dryly, then retreated, door slamming behind her, in the same breath.

If Azula was shocked, she did nothing to hide that fact.


	3. Truth

She had read both letters fifty three times before they came to liberate her. The writer was careful with wording, leaving her position unambiguous; she was in every way, still a prisoner. And her uncle was her keeper.

" Princess Azula, please step out of your cell with both hands visible."

Azula did as she was told, smirking at the Kyoshi captain's decidedly bad mood. She counted a total of six guards, two Kyoshi warriors and four earthbenders. There was a noticeable lack of Fire Nation guards.

"What's funny?" Suki asked as she unlocked her handcuffs, "You know, other than that we are letting you go, at all. Now that's comical."

"When guarding someone, it's best not to make small talk. It reveals anxiety or boredom, both equally exploitable emotions."

Suki audibly ground her teeth.

" So where's Ty Lee?"

Suki lead her out of the tiny room, into an equally claustrophobic hallway. The taciturn earthbenders immediately fell into formation, two flanking each side of her, with the other Kyoshi warrior trailing behind them.

"What happened to no small talk?"

"Didn't trust any Fire nationals to release me? She is...domestic, after all."

Azula smiled innocently when Suki scowled at her choice of words.

"You know, I don't know what's wrong with you. Talking about her like a damned pet, when she's the only friend you have in the world. She's the only one dumb enough to still actually defend you, having you released on her own dime, and negotiating the terms. That's dedication."

"Sounds like a dog to me." She shot back callously.

Suki turned around abruptly to glare at her. She had to quickly side-step to avoid crashing into the Kyoshi captain, only to crash face first into a wall of earthbender muscle. Azula clutched her nose, trying to hide her tearing eyes.

Her failure was apparent when Suki laughed derisively into a gloved hand.

"Well? Shall we continue? My freedom awaits." She said shortly.

They continued their trek past two checkpoints where Suki signed her name each time, and Azula was searched.

"You know... she did want to be here, right?" Suki began, at the third checkpoint.

" Again with the small talk. Are you nervous or just bored?"

"Which is harder for you to exploit?"

" Unfortunately for you, I'm a master of exploitation for anything."

" That's not surprising."

The ninth and final checkpoint lay ahead.

"She's sick. She's been sick."

"That may explain the irrational decision to help me."

"Maybe." Suki mumbled as she signed her name the last time. "Well then, Princess, you are free. Please take the carriage waiting over there, it's headed for the Dragon of the West's residence. You are free to roam the capital city, after you check in with him. As it said in your letter of provisions, you are not allowed to interact with any person affiliated with the Fire Nation military or council, national or local. Is that understood?"

Azula made a noise of acknowledgement, and headed towards the carriage, stopping herself from looking back. Her knees felt strangely weak, her stomach flighty. For the first time since her decision to begin this in the darkness of her cell, a seed of doubt pulsed within her.

The carriage is resentfully small for royalty, but felt more spacious than her cell was. She let her eyes trace the intricate gold trimming. Where she would have once scorned the fact that the whole carriage was not finished with gold, it was truly beautiful to her.

* * *

She fought the desire to be lulled to sleep by the rocking carriage. Comfort had not been her companion for far too long.

When the carriage slowed to a stop she almost regretted having to get off. She berated herself for not having a plan on how to deal with her uncle.

Her uncle's estate was impressive for a vacation home, overlooking the city on a particularly scenic hilltop.

Two servants emerged to lead her to the main house. Her uncle sat in the lounge with a comically serious face that became a grin when he pretended to suddenly see her as she approached him.

"Azula! Welcome!"

She studied her surroundings disinterestedly.

"We can arrange a tour soon enough. Have a seat!"

She did so, still determined not to meet his eyes.

"Wow, you have lost weight, niece. Perhaps you would like a snack and a nice cup of jasmine?" Her uncle waved to a servant.

She scowled, finally looking over at her uncle, "Uncle. Let us drop the pretentiousness, neither of us particularly favor this arrangement, so why don't you just share how Zuko convinced you to house me? We'll have a nice laugh, then we don't have to breathe the same air again, afterwards."

The servant returned with a plate of sugar cakes and a cup of tea. Iroh watched her leave before dropping his grin.

"Azula, I requested to be the one to look after you," he murmured grimly, and took a moment to contemplate his next words, "family is important."

"Of course it is." Azula stood, glaring expectantly at her uncle.

Iroh sighed, then conceded.

"You must be tired," he waved over a servant, "please show my niece to her room."

Azula followed the servant, leaving her tea and snack untouched.

Despite the weight on her eyes and stiffness in her joints, sleep did not come to her.

She abandoned the futile effort when dawn came. Shuffling quietly, she found the courtyard, not without several wrong turns. By then, the sun was half way over the horizon.

Breathing in the morning, she recalled all the training sessions, alone as the world slept, warming her fingertips with the fire she knew existed within her.

Firebending freely for the first time in two years should have felt liberating. All she could feel were her muscles protesting every her movement and stance, yearning to go back to the idleness of rotting in a cell.

She wanted to scream.

Circling her arms, she let a bolt of screeching lightning disappear into the sky instead. She cringed as it died out pathetically as soon as it left her fingertips.

" That is impressive, niece."

"Don't patronize me."

"Azula, you've been incarcerated for over two years. I doubt you've had much time to practice your stances. Your skills are impressive to anyone."

"Oh really, uncle? From what I've heard, your prison _escapades_ were much more impressive."

Iroh gave her a hearty grin.

"But you're not here to compliment me, uncle. So tell me, why are you awake right now?"

"The morning air is good for an old man's lungs..." he began, " but to be honest, I wanted to continue our conversation from yesterday."

"And why should I listen to what you have to say?" Azula replied testily.

"Conversation, is a two way street, Princess Azula."

"And what makes you think, that I have anything to say to you?"

" The morning sea breeze is the coldest, perhaps some ginger tea in the dining room would best inspire communication." Iroh led the way back into the main house.

Azula stomped moodily towards the direction of her room, before turning around to follow her uncle, ginger tea was her favorite after all.

When she found the dining room, her uncle was already sitting in front of a set table, two cups steaming next to him. Azula picked up her tea and circled around to the other end of the table to sit across from her uncle, crossing her arms contemptuously.

Iroh chuckled, "Your temper is as bad as your brother's. No one can claim that you are unrelated."

When she didn't respond, he took it as a cue to continue.

" Niece, I wanted to discuss your case with the Royal court. Namely, do you even know what you are going to do?"

Azula sipped on her tea.

"Nowhere on the terms of my release did it say that you'd be my counselor, uncle."

"You're not wrong. But-"

"Then I have nothing to tell you."

"If you don't have a case, Azula, then you are in a very perilous situation, indeed. Capital punishment is a possibility with this court."

"Death, my uncle, is only in the mind." She said, mocking his voice.

The old general frowned.

"What do you mean by that?"

"The world has forgotten me. I'm no different than dead, uncle, what difference does it make to me if it's official?"

"You won't make an argument for yourself then? You will take your two weeks of freedom, and be done with it?" The wrinkles in the old man's face deepened gravely.

"No. I must convince the world that I'm alive." She gave a knowing smile.

"Azula, do not pull anything. I advise you to plead guilty. Your brother won't watch you die. The council will go easy on you if you..."

"If I? What? Submit to them? Roll over? Beg for them to spare me?"

"Azula, pride is the root of your problems. True humility is how you find peace with oneself."

" I'm sure that's what you told Zu Zu to make him stop crying for his honor."

"Your own troubles are very much like his during the war. You must learn to let the past stay there."

"You have no idea what you're talking about."

Iroh opened his mouth, then closed it, sipping tea instead.

"I haven't done anything wrong." Azula continued, not really addressing her uncle.

"If you keep telling yourself that, you will never come to terms with all the lies that have brought you to this point."

"What lies, uncle? That I would bring honor and glory to our nation? That I would conquer the Earth Kingdom capital in the name of my forefathers? Those are your lies. Not mine. I actually did those things. You know nothing. Nothing of greatness." Azula narrowed her eyes in distain.

"The ideas of greatness instilled in you are the deceptions used to trap the world into constant strife, throwing it out of balance."

"What balance? You know very well what the war meant to the Fire Nation. Nothing was distributed equally in the first place! Even after you and the avatar have given the throne to my brother, and you have taken back Ba Sing Se, the Earth Kingdom treats us as a tributary state. We've gone from one imbalance to another. The avatar has stagnated the world to his vision, with no mind paid to what we really need. Your beliefs are dreadfully antiquated."

"The avatar is the will of the world."

"The avatar is a fourteen year old boy."

"You still don't understand, Azula..."

"No, you don't understand! Were you the one, uncle, that watched the people gather from the top of Ba Sing Se's wall? They were like ants! Were you the one watching its bricks fall to the ground, so far below? Each one that fell should have represented every time my name went down in history books! Were you the one that sat on the Earth Kingdom throne, watching the sun come up over the horizon, knowing that thanks to you, it will never set on the Fire Nation? I gave to our people, what you had promised them eight years ago!"

"Yes, you've seen and experienced so much, yet there is so much that you don't know. None of those things are really important to our people." He rubbed his temples, looking much older than usual. "You must-"

"No, none of that matters. Not as important as family, right?" She spat scornfully, "and to teach me this, you've taken everything I've built and destroyed it!"

She stood abruptly, cup crashing into pieces on the floor.

The old man bowed his head.

"I'm sorry. I should have been there, especially after your mother was gone. Not only for Zuko, but for you."

"I don't need your apologies. And I didn't need you to come fix me after my mother decided to stop trying. I don't need you. I'm not Zuko, and I never will be."

She crossed her arms-

* * *

_-biting her bottom lip, she stomped away, kicking the sand as she went._

_She wandered to a rocky part of the cove away from the injustices known as her mother and brother. She tried to ignore the burning in her eyes, she was nearly five and she refuses to resort to sobbing to herself when she has been wronged. A princess will not concede defeat so easily._

_Picking up a stick, she marched over to a rock and took a seat to begin plotting her revenge in the sand. Even Fire Lord Sozin would marvel at her tactical brilliance._

_"Azula? Azula!"_

_When she woke up, the sun had disappeared from the sky, and her neck was cramped. Her father towered over her, a frown wrinkling his usually impassive face._

_"Your mother and I have been looking for you everywhere! How dare you run off without permission?! Dinner was two hours ago!"_

_She tried to dispel the mist beginning to form in her eyes, but the quivering in her lips already told her the inevitable. She looked away, focusing on the scribbles and doodles of people in the sand next to her._

_"...I hate this place..." she mumbled._

_"Azula, if you want to be listened to, you must speak to be heard."_

_"I said, I hate Ember Island!" She kicked her stupid doodle of her stupid brother in her tantrum._

_"My daughter, you were the one that said you wanted to come along with us this year." The ice in his voice prompted her to cry freely._

_Joining his daughter on the rock, Prince Ozai sighed and placed a hand on her quaking shoulder._

_"I-it's all Zu-zu's fault! Why is h-he so st-stupid?! I t-told him I didn't knock his stupid sand c-castle down on purpose! And he told m-mommy I was a l-liar! I was telling the truth!"_

_"Your brother probably thought you were lying, because of all those other times you knocked his sandcastles down." Ozai smirked, remembering all the creative ways Azula used to topple the sand towers._

_"Th-they were crooked. They would have fallen down a-anyways," Azula pouted ill-humoredly, "and I never lied about those." She tried to frown like her father._

_Ozai only chuckled at his daughter's awkwardly wrinkled nose._

_"I'm h-honest. Z-zuko is the liar." She kicked where his doodle used to be._

_"Well then, my daughter, what are you going to do about your brother's dishonesty?"_

_"That's the problem! Mother never listens to me!" She wanted to kick her mother's doodle image too._

_"If you need her to fight your battles for you, then you would be the same as your brother, wouldn't you?" Ozai asked, a smile beginning on his features._

_Azula stuck her tongue out in disgust. The prince laughed, having expected her exact reaction._

_"I want to get him back, daddy." She said determinedly, raising a little fist._

_"Shall I teach you then, daughter?" Ozai smirked._

_Azula nodded intently._

_"I'll warn you now, you must lie."_

_Her face fell._

_"But father, you said lies were cowardly, and unhonorable!" She thought for a second, "and I'm no good at lying." She was a picture of glumness._

_The prince smiled._

_"Yes, but it won't be like lying. You must tell a lie more believable than the truth. Make your lie, the truth."_

* * *

_"But mom! I didn't!"_

_"Yes he did!" Crying was simple when she imagined her father's displeased face. She had to resist the urge to giggle, "he's still mad about yesterday!" She sobbed._

_Ursa looked concernedly between her children, holding her daughter's shoulders._

_" Zuko... maybe, you did it when you were angry? I know you are still trying to fix your temper. It's okay, if you just apologize sincerely."_

_"No! I didn't break your stupid shells! Stop lying, Azula! Why do you always lie?!"_

_She felt her mask slip for a moment, her brother's yelling voice still unnerved her. She let genuine tears slide down her cheeks._

_"I'm not a liar! I want my shells!" She wailed at the top if her lungs._

_Zuko looked disarmed by her unusual vulnerability. Her mother frowned at Zuko._

_"Zuko! Stop making your sister cry more!" Ursa warned sharply._

_"I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Azula. It was an accident. Please don't cry. Don't cry, Azula." Zuko held his sobbing sister, tears streaming down his own face._

_Azula almost felt bad. She closed her eyes-_

* * *

-willing away the images in her head, sickeningly similar to her visions while still imprisoned.

Today was the day. Her fate was to be decided.

When she approached the front door of her uncle's estate, she knew the carriage was there already. She looked back once more to the main house. She was not surprised her host did not come to see her off, they had not spoken since their conversation over ginger tea, not that she gave him any opportunities to open discussion.

Breathing in deeply, she opened the double doors to face her destiny.

* * *

The prosecutor was unbearably dull and repetitive, often repeating himself while pointing vigorously in her direction, as if jabbing his finger at her will increase her guilt before the council. She sat impassively, smiling and scoffing every so often to unnerve the opposition.

"...so tell me, former princess, what verdict can you justify other than undeniably guilty?!" The lawyer gave a few exaggerated huffs before sitting down smugly.

Azula opened her mouth for the first time.

"Well, brother," she smirked up at his seat at the center of the council, "quite unorthodox to have an open audience to a trial by the Royal Court."

The prosecutor stood abruptly, caught off guard by her utter disregard of him.

"D-d-don't change the subject! How dare you so brazenly address a judge! Your familial relationship has no place in court! A-answer the question!"

She looked over at him contemptuously, as if looking at an insect.

"You wouldn't understand, seeing as they barely scraped you up from some peasant village in the outer most provinces of the Earth Kingdom, being only one of the three equally incompetent fools who decided taking international law was a good idea during the war. I will educate you, my dear Earth peasant, it is well within my rights to address my brother, the Fire Lord, as the defendant of an age old Court that served often, during antiquity, as the lawful assassination grounds of royals, by royals." She turned her sneer to her brother, triumph in her eyes. The crowd shifted restlessly.

"Enough, Azula." Zuko frowned, "I have made the trial open to all, for a reason. You must be accountable to all of the Fire Nation. Now answer the question that you have been asked."

"Oh don't talk down to me, brother," she smirked sarcastically, "you know very well I have always been accountable to our nation," she looked distastefully over at the prosecution, " but I'll answer you. Isn't it obvious? I'm arguing for my immediate release."

The lawyer's strategy seemed to be shocked at everything she said. Standing again, he did more finger jabbing. She smirked.

"W-what?! What right do you have to even joke about that? Stop wasting our time!"

Several council members seemed to agree, as there was a mummur of "she's wasting time," openly or in the ear of the Fire Lord. The crowd grew louder.

"I hope you have a good reason for requesting that, Azula. You should know, we don't plan on being lenient, just because of your formerly royal status." The room fell silent at the Fire Lord's warning.

"Isn't the fact that I've become such a great person, reason enough to let me off the hook?" She asked sardonically, fluttering her eyes in mock innocence. Zuko's face darkened.

The room erupted with noise, especially amongst the council.

"How can we try her? She's still crazy!"

"She has nothing. Name her guilty now!"

"She's wasting our time!"

"Contempt of court!"

She spotted her uncle's concerned face in the crowd, and Ty Lee and Suki, two spots of green in a sea of red and pink, both wearing equally grim looks.

She laughed. The chatter quieted as she stood for the first time. The Earthbenders next to her stared her down warily.

"No? Then I shall request my release," she gave the crowd a sweeping glance, "in return, I will testify against Fire Lord Ozai."

The room erupted in chatter again. She smirked at the prosecutor's smug look to his paralegal as he stood.

"Unfortunately, former princess Azula, that would not be enough for full acquittal, but if you would like to make a deal-"

"I will testify about the former Fire Lord's act of murder." She declared as if he had never spoken.

The room fell silent, except for the prosecutor's hearty laugh.

"Yes, we already know that your Fire Lord Ozai was a murderer. He murdered our fathers and brothers, princess. If you think that would-"

"I am so glad, brother, that you decided to have an open trial, it is time for us to be completely accountable to the Fire Nation." She opened up her arms dramatically.

Her brother frowned.

"I am testifying against my father, the former Fire Lord, for the assassination of Prince Lu Ten." She yelled over the ensuing uproar," it's time for the royal family to air out it's laundry, brother!"

"That's impossible! He was killed in battle."

"She's lying!"

"Unbelievable! She'll say anything to save herself!"

Zuko did a great impression of his father's frown. All exclamations ceased as the Fire Lord rose to address the prisoner.

"That is a serious accusation, Azula." He warned gravely.

"Ask the Dragon of the West. He's here. Wasn't it strange, how he died in the battle for Fort Wan Shi? It was a small, poorly-guarded provisions holding. Most of the guards were diverted to the effort at Ba Sing Se, thirty miles away. The unit sent there merely smoked them out, there was barely any combat."

She raised one index finger to silence the prosecutor before he could begin.

"There's more. Wasn't it so convenient that grandfather died soon after, and father became the Fire Lord?"

"You were a nine year old child, and you have no proof." Fire Lord Zuko pinched the bridge of his nose.

Azula smirked.

"Mother knew. Didn't she?"

The growing tension burst at the seams, the Fire nation public hearing of it's disappeared empress after so long. Zuko looked livid.

"Don't bring our mother into this! Stop lying, Azula! No one here believes you!"

"Oh but you know I'm not lying, don't you?"

The Fire Lord didn't meet her eyes.

"Yes brother, because I tell lies that are more believable than the truth." Azula laughed bitterly. "And where did I learn that from?"

"If I can interrupt this sibling bickering, Fire Lord, she has nothing to support her little... delusion." The prosecutor cut in, deciding to try to save his job.

"There is actually a witness in this room, Fire Lord," Azula corrected, "the murder weapon, if you will."

"Stop fooling around, Azula."

"It's interesting, General, how despite having no outstanding military achievements, you skyrocketed to prominence after the failed siege of Ba Sing Se, to become a member of the Fire Lord's council." Several council members turned to look at one another, before settling on an relatively young general with a long, thin, graying beard. They got him, but she wasn't stopping there. "Even then, you acted as a follower rather than the leader you masqueraded as, meek as a lamb, I'm sure you participated even less than my dear brother in the war meetings. How then, did you gain favor with my father, who valued merit more than any trait in his subjects, General Li?"

The general slammed his fist against his table, "She's bluffing! She's just trying to incite confusion among the Council!"

"My brother allowed you to keep your place in the council for a reason! Outwardly, you were the only one that did not commit anything too deplorable during the war, in the eyes of the avatar's world of peace and kindness, but you're actually the worst offender, aren't you? It seems like you were feeding a disgusting palace rat, brother!"

The Fire Lord sat, arms crossed, an unreadable expression on his face. He knew his sister was not done. The general visibly shook with anger, face distorted by rage.

"I did nothing! You're just a child! A child trying not to get reprimanded for what you've done!" He turned to Zuko. "Don't listen to her lies, Fire Lord!"

"I heard my father giving you your task, myself! Prince Lu Ten was the crown prince apparent! He was a worthy warrior, and capable leader, loyal and kind to his men! He was a royal! You should be burned publicly for this. He was still a child! Trying to live up to his father's name!" She saw her uncle wipe tears from his eyes. "How could you justify murdering a child with no ill will, a child who had no ambition of becoming Fire Lord, at all?!" Her throat began to hurt from screaming. She felt the guards next to her hold her back.

She sat down.

The peasant audience awoke from its stunned silence.

"Avenge the prince!"

"Burn the traitor!"

"Free the princess!"

The forgotten prosecutor waved his arms vainly to get the council's attention.

"Enough!" The Fire Lord's voice silenced all others in the hall. "The court will now take recess. General Li will be questioned during the recess. We will resume in three hours."

With that said, he swept out of the room.

* * *

Azula was taken to a small conference room, and cuffed to a chair. An hour passed before Zuko entered, leading a procession of chattering people in. He was red faced, not attempting to hide his displeasure.

"What are you trying to pull Azula?!" He slammed the table with both hands.

"Nice to see you still have your manners after becoming Fire Lord, Zu Zu," she sneered, "I'm telling the truth, of course. That's what you always tell me to do, isn't it? To stop lying? I swore by the eternal flame before the trial after all, _my_ _brother_."

"Yeah well, when you swear, it's not worth much, _my_ _sister_."

"You hurt my feelings, Zu Zu."

The Fire Lord sighed grimly.

"Azula...even if your story proves to be true, we can't possibly let you go." He gave her a genuinely concerned look.

"It's sad, brother, how much of a puppet state the Fire Nation has become. Is it hard? Being the Earth King's bitch?"

"What did you say?!" He lunged at her, only to be held back by a very troubled looking Iroh.

She laughed dryly.

"Hit me, brother. It won't change the reality of things."

When he said nothing she smirked.

"Think about how my words can help you. If and when my story is proven, the reign of Fire Lord Ozai will be invalidated. We would be seen as victims too, the Earth Kingdom would look like tyrants overstepping like they are now. Let me go, and I can help you with all your policy issues. You need me."

"Is that all you care about? Saving your own skin?"

"Hey, I'm desperate." She shrugged matter-of-factly.

"You're shameless." Zuko narrowed his eyes in disgust.

"Who made me that way?" She spat bitterly.

"Don't make this about me! You got everything that was already coming to you! I did what was right for my nation!"

"You sold out your nation! Our people are suffering! Earth Kingdom soldiers patrol our streets and quarter our people's homes, and all for you to sit on the throne, powerless!" The handcuffs cut into her wrist as she strained against them.

"You don't give a damn about our people! All you care about is yourself! You've only cared about yourself since the day you were born! You kept Lu Ten's murder a secret until it was convenient for you! You monster!"

"Zuko! Control yourself, you are the Fire Lord now," Iroh cut in, a hand still holding Zuko back.

"I know, uncle. I'm sorry." Zuko breathed deeply, rubbing his eyes.

"Um.. Fire Lord Zuko?" A voice came from behind the throngs of imperial guards and attendants. Attention turned to Ty Lee, pressed up against the back wall of the room. The sleeves of her Kyoshi uniform were rolled up haphazardly, her hair disheveled, eyes puffy and tired.

The Fire Lord rubbed his temples tiredly.

"Hey Ty. Did you need something?" Zuko asked exasperatedly.

"Umm...Azula didn't keep the Fire Lord's plan to murder Prince Lu Ten a secret." She blinked as if asking permission to continue. "She told me." She rubbed her arms awkwardly when there was no reaction.

"I was no help, so she yelled at me. But she tried to get the Prince to not go back to the Earth Kingdom. When that didn't work, she wrote a letter to General Iroh."

"Did you really?" Zuko interrogated sternly.

"You don't have to act so surprised, Zuko," she chuckled bitterly, "do you remember my letter, uncle?"

Iroh gave one grim nod.

"General Iroh, you must not let Lu Ten degrade himself by sleeping with peasants. He is a disgrace to the royal family. His bending is mediocre at best, it's best he sees no combat. The enemy will laugh themselves to defeat. Just send him home, he's hopeless. I have our country's best interest at heart. Azula." Azula recited.

"That's it?! You should have done more! You could have-"

"Betrayed our father?" Azula sneered, "What would you have done in my place, brother? You were even more of coward than me back then."

"He's worth betraying!" Zuko touched the right side of his face, "If you did that... if you told..."

"'If only Azula told the world about big bad daddy, he wouldn't have become Fire Lord, and I would still have a pristine complexion,' is it along those lines, Fire Lord?" She mocked, her sarcastic smile turning to a frown, "Just another excuse for you to blame everything wrong with your life on me, isn't it?"

Zuko set his jaw.

"He could have lived! It's your fault! You betrayed him when you chose not to oust our father!"

"I wouldn't know much about being the betrayer," Azula looked over to the Kyoshi warrior in the room, who shrunk against the wall under her scrutiny. "Obviously, you were all the ones betraying his memory."

"What?!" Zuko stood in outrage.

" Tell them uncle! Tell them about his letter! You keep it in your shrine for a reason, don't you? It was the last time, wasn't it? What were my cousin's last words?! Say it!"

The Fire Lord held his uncle's shoulder gently. The Dragon of the West wept softly.

"To General Iroh: See you after we win the War. Your loyal son Lu Ten."

"Yes, uncle! The war you and my brother worked so hard to lose! You spit on his name every time you put that crown on, Zuko!" Azula yelled hysterically. "He told me! Lu Ten said I should be Fire Lord!" Her breaths came out in short ragged bursts.

"Lu Ten was kind! More kind than anyone! He wouldn't have wanted us to win if it meant bringing suffering to others. He didn't know better!" Zuko yelled back, fists clenched.

"He knew how the war would advance his country! He loved his country! So I fought! I fought because he couldn't anymore! And you just had to come and destroy everything I'd built in his memory! You're a betrayer! All of you!" Her voice cracked, "I've always been loyal! ...Loyal to my cousin..." Something heavy in her chest burst inside of her. She slumped into the chair.

Her brother's eyes softened.

"Azula...are you okay? You look like-"

"No. I'm not. Not okay."

The Fire Lord reached over to hold his sister's hand. "Don't cry, Azula. Don't cry."

* * *

The court assembled noisily, noticeably more rowdy on the audience's side. When the council entered, General Li was not among them. The defendant then entered, reagal and composed, missing her usual Earthbender guards. The courtroom erupted in applause as the Fire Nation saw their princess with her royal topknot for the first time in two years.

The Fire Lord gave a look of mixed shock and relief. The prosecution was outraged, but was silenced as the Fire Lord rose.

"As you can all see, the Fire Nation has spoken. There may be dissenting members in my council," he gave them all a sweeping glance, "but we sit at our places of authority to serve our people. And so, it is our people that has judged you today, Princess Azula. Take their mercy with humility." He gave her a smile. "The Royal Court is antiquated, and forces the opinions of a chosen few upon an individual. We have not only worked very hard to create a world of peace and kindness, but also equality, where each person's voice should be heard. Kindness should be extended to everyone, even strangers and foreigners. But how can I, as Fire Lord, preach to the world about kindness, if I don't show it to my own sister? My closest kin. She has wronged. But we have also wronged as a nation. And letting all the hate and ills of the war be taken up by one person, will only perpetuate injustice and unbalance. You have judged her today, and you have asked for your princess back. And so, you will have your princess." He turned to the prosecutor, "And if the Earth Kingdom has qualms, they can come to me about it."

"This is ridiculous! This-" the prosecutor waved madly at the leaving councilmen, but the roar of the crowd soon drowned him out.

Azula was led out of the room by royal guards. She felt a tap on her shoulder.

"C-congratulations, Princess!" Ty Lee yelled over the noise.

Azula gave her a small nod of acknowledgment, and kept walking without a word.

It was time to go home.


	4. Innocence

_"Quickly! Get the imperial guards. And send a report to the Fire Lord."_

_Servants scrambled about in a flurry of red._

_She peeked from behind them in wide-eyed curiosity._

_"Away, child! What are you doing here?! Get away!"_

_But it was too late. And looking over at Azula's grim face, she knew that they've both seen it._

_Fingernails stained black, clawing at his throat, leaving angry red gashes. Mouth agape, and eyes wide with fear because death had stolen his breath._

_It was far too late._

_She couldn't scream, for fear of death entering her lungs. She couldn't run, for fear of inciting a chase. So she stood, holding her breath till she saw purple._

_"Ty, let's go." The young princess pulled her arm more forcefully than usual, nails digging into her._

_Closing her eyes as she followed, she let herself-_

* * *

-breathe in slowly, and exhale. Her eyes stung, heavy from sleepless nights.

She leaned against a tree, gloved hand shielding her eyes from the unforgiving sun, waiting for the signal. The Earth Kingdom mainland lacked the soothing sea breeze she was accustomed to growing up in the Fire Nation, and living on Kyoshi Island. Somehow, the stagnant air put her on edge.

Three flashes. Instantly, perfectly synchronized Kyoshi Warriors descended upon the hut they had observed for the better part of an hour, fans drawn.

"Wait." Their leader approached the door cautiously. There was a sound of movement from within the hut. Suki opened the door soundlessly as possible. "What the...?"

A pack of coyote foxes stormed out, covered in grime, dried blood caked into their fur. The putrid stench of gore proceeded.

"Search the house. And watch each other's backs." Their captain commanded.

Ty Lee felt her breath become heavy, a cold sweat coming over her as reek of blood reached her. She quickened her pace towards the door when she felt her leader's scrutiny.

" Ty Lee."

"Y-yes?!" She turned around mentally begging her hands to stop trembling.

"You don't have to go in if you don't want to."

"What? Why would you say that?! I'm perfectly okay with going in! So I'm going to go in now. See ya." She turned back towards the house, pinching her arm, easing her breathing.

" Ty."

"Yes, Suki?" She sighed. This would be the third time she has been pulled out of a mission that month. From experience, guarding the door was always a dull experience.

"If you are fine, then you're with me. We'll do the first floor, they've got the second floor and basement."

She gave her the brightest grin she could muster.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Couldn't sleep last night, that's all."

Suki gave her a concerned smile.

"Like every other night."

* * *

His corpse was splayed in the middle of the room, facing the doorway, as if being showcased. His left arm was found on the second floor.

Where not mutilated by the coyote foxes, his face was an image of serene terror. The papers on him identified him as their target.

He was a middle aged Fire national that once owned a large amount of real estate in the colony before the treaty had forced him to relinquish most of his land, and the colony had been reduced to a third of it's original size. Driven to impoverishment, he had relocated to a run down hut on the outskirts of the colonial town, where he was often reported for hostile relations with his Earth Kingdom neighbors, culminating in his arrest two months prior for a drunken brawl. The Kyoshi warriors were requested when the local authorities received an anonymous tip suggesting he was preparing for 'extremist actions' against the nearby Earth Kingdom town.

Ty Lee tried her best not to stare at the body as they searched for indications of resistance or intruders. She felt her heart rate accelerate, the world slowing down surreally. Her throat was impossibly dry.

His right eye seemed to look lifelessly up at her, skin glowing, strangely luminescent in the dark room. His blackened fingers beckoned her maliciously. Everything smelled of blood.

"Ty? Ty Lee. Are you alright?" Suki's alarmed voice seemed so far away.

Ty Lee realized she wasn't breathing, and had stumbled into a cabinet in her faintness.

"Y-yeah. I'm just a little dizzy. It really smells in here."

"I see..." Suki nodded. "Actually, I forgot to assign someone to guard the door, Ty. Would you mind?"

Ty Lee gave her a grateful look.

"Of course not."

"Thanks." Suki smiled encouragingly.

"No problem, captain."

She couldn't help a disappointed sigh as she made her way to the door. She should be used to this by now.

Violence, particularly near colonies or former colonies, had escalated post war. Even in an era of supposed peace and love, yesterday's hatred has yet to dispel.

It was true, that the Princess had kept her squad relatively sheltered during the war. No one was ever seriously hurt. She followed her orders because they were her duty, to her country and her princess. It was simpler then.

She never realized how ugly and malicious war was. She only really saw it after. Soldiers are ready to kill and die. All for some vague higher purpose known as patriotism.

She'd thought of it often. Not that she could wrap her mind around such an abstruse topic to begin with. After all, it was all just a distraction...

"Interesting."

Her thoughts broken, she looked up, startled, remembering her guard duty.

Ty Lee struggled to comprehend Azula's scowling face in front of her.

"Hello, Ty Lee," Azula waved her hand disinterestedly in front of her face. The princess' scowl deepened when there was no reaction. "Well, as you try to remember your own name, I'll just take a look inside."

"Y-you can't go in there!"

"And why can't I?"

"I'm guarding the door." She unconsciously shrunk against the doorframe.

"You were doing a poor job anyways." She glared condescendingly at the Kyoshi warrior.

"There's been a murder. Blood everywhere. I don't think-"

"Oh please. I've seen my share of dead bodies."

"No you haven't." She shot back shortly.

Azula smirked bitterly.

"Back at the institution, I had a neighbor before I was put in solitary. We made a game of ignoring each other. That's what paranoid crazy people do for fun." She paused as if to wait for a laugh to come. "One day out of nowhere, she talks to me. Tells me that she's seen my mother in the mirror. That night, she kills herself running head first into that mirror." She stopped with her mouth still open, as if there were more to say. Then frowned, possibly in realization of what she meant to say.

"That's horrible, Azula. I'm so sorry."

The princess narrowed her eyes at her.

"She was a vet, Ty. Had three tours in the Earth Kingdom."

"I... don't know where you're going with this." Ty Lee rubbed her tired eyes.

Azula's jaw tightened.

"Really?" The princess seemed to have a new softness in her eyes, despite the contempt in her voice.

She shook her head, not without self consciously staring at the floor.

Azula pinched the bridge of her nose, sighing exasperatedly. The princess turned around, and Ty Lee noticed the unit of Imperial Guards studying them intently a few yards away for the first time.

"For my own protection, my dear big brother says." Azula rolls her eyes.

The princess' thought process was incoherent to her, though she hoped it did not show. Azula turns back around with a decidedly serious face.

"Listen," Azula grabs her arm suddenly, lowering her voice. "We both know what's going on here. So you can stop with the act, right now."

Ty Lee felt the air grow heavy again, as she struggled against the princess' grip.

"I don't-"

"Stop lying! How many bruises have you given yourself, trying to _breathe_, Ty Lee?" Azula shook her trembling fingers in front of her face forcefully. "Do you think that's normal? Don't think that you've fooled me for a second. All your fidgeting and stuttering foolishness. Your captain might be gullible enough to think that you were just stressed out about my trial before, but that was the last thing on your mind, wasn't it?"

She wrenched her arm away, backing into the door sill.

"Stop! Just stop."

"What's going on?" The Kyoshi captain appeared, stepping between the two, regarding the Fire princess coolly, "Don't you belong at a consulate somewhere?"

"I don't think my diplomatic missions are the concerns of a common soldier." Azula smiled lightly at being challenged.

Ty Lee squirmed uncomfortably at this exchange.

"You've barely traded your prison rags for a crown, Princess, and now you're playing diplomacy, again? You should relax a little, lest you go _mad_ from all that work."

"Thank you, but you don't have to worry about me. I'm all in control now. And my diplomacy is as good as last time."

"Control? Yes. I've heard from the Fire Lord your firebending is back full force. A prodigy is a prodigy. But I've been told you'd have to be lame or blind, and in point blank range to be hit by your lightning these days."

Azula smirked bitterly.

"Then it's very good the war is over, seeing as I would only be able to hit your foolish boyfriend and the Avatar's earthbending master."

Suki opened her mouth for an angry retort, but the Fire princess raised one hand to stop her.

"I'm not here to bicker with you."

"Then there's a point to your appearance here? I'd of really loved to hear it to begin with. Preferably before you start harassing my subordinates next time."

Azula put on a serious air.

"I came to inspect the colony, only to be told rumors of the Kyoshi warriors apprehending a Fire Nation extremist. I saw it as my duty to take the custody of my countryman. He should be accountable to his own country, he represents us all, you see," Azula smiled grimly, motioning towards the door, "That is quite the gruesome apprehension scene, captain."

"This, Princess, is a murder scene. A crime committed on Earth Kingdom soil. Hardly the concern of a common ambassador." Suki crossed her arms defensively.

"I don't mean to contradict you, but it is a crime committed upon one of my subjects. Making it a very great concern of mine."

Azula pushed past the two green-clad women into the hut, sweeping the room with a meticulous gaze.

Suki sighed exasperatedly, trailing the princess.

"We should watch her. Make sure she doesn't tamper with anything."

Ty Lee followed obediently.

Azula was stooped over the body, distaste on her face. Catching Ty Lee's eye, the princess smiled grimly.

"Doesn't look like a simple murder to me, does it to you, Ty Lee?"

She shook her head slowly.

"It's... an assassination." Ty Lee forced the words past her dry lips.

"What? What is that supposed to mean? What difference is there?" Suki looked suspiciously between the two.

"Murders have reasons and feelings attached to them. Vengeance or wrath or jealousy, and so forth. Assassinations send messages. It doesn't matter who the person is, only what they represent." The princess recited.

"What message was there to send? He was poisoned in his home, not knifed in some public place."

"Isn't it obvious? The poison used was specifically chosen to preserve the body. If the coyote foxes had not gotten in, he would have been lying here staring at the door." Azula paused as if to imagine the scene.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Suki pressed.

"Whoever did this wanted all the Fire Nation families around here to know that they were not safe in their own homes. That they will die quietly, no, forcibly silenced, as they watch their killer leave through their own front door."

Suki grit her teeth looking at the body.

"Or they're saying extremists planning to hurt Earth Kingdom families, or anyone for that matter, are not welcome here. What about that?! This guy was twisted." The Kyoshi captain spat bitterly.

"You are obviously too biased to take this case, Captain."

"What?! What about you?! You only came to help him anyways. If you took custody of him, the moment your ship touched Fire Nation land you would have given him a pat on the back and had him on his way!"

Azula regarded the woman impassively.

"Listen to yourself, you fool. I'm not the one trying to justify the murder of an innocent man."

Suki looked embarrassed for a second but would not concede.

"Innocent?!" A light flush began to show on her neck where her make up was not as heavy.

"Were you about to arrest him based on hearsay? Do you actually have proof he was planning an attack? And here I thought the Dai Li was disbanded." Azula sneered.

"Proof? We found several weapons in his basement. None of them registered." Suki motioned to a pile in the corner where a few rusted dao swords were laid out.

"Please. That law is grossly misused to persecute my subjects in the Earth Kingdom. Tell me one Earth Kingdom family that was charged for unregistered weapons. Everyone has them. They're all still paranoid from the war. Besides, look at the state of these weapons, they are probably keepsakes from his son."

Suki furrowed her brows.

"His son? His files didn't say anything about family."

"Of course not. You have only been listening to one side of the story." The beginnings of a victorious smirk played on the princess' lips. "That reminds me, his files said he was arrested two months ago for a drunken fight?"

"Yes, I've already had the witnesses' questioned. He was the aggressor, and the men he argued with checked out clean. They wouldn't be the murderer."

Azula smirked.

"What?" Suki snapped humorlessly.

"It's interesting that he would start a fight while drunk, considering that he does not drink."

Suki narrowed her eyes but did not interrupt.

"You see, his son was dishonorably discharged during the war for being intoxicated on duty, died drunk in a ditch a week after. The Fire Nation has strict regulations regarding discipline in our military. I can't say the same for Earth Kingdom soldiers, the ones I met in my travels were...thuggish. Particularly around provincial towns such as this." Azula produced a scroll with a red Fire Nation Military emblem on it.

"So you're accusing the soldiers he harassed at the bar?" Suki asked, looking through the file.

"The question is who harassed whom? Because the Fire Nation witnesses that were so conveniently left out of the case files seem to believe differently. As you know, two months ago was a rather tumultuous time, politically."

"Don't flatter yourself! Why would Earth Kingdom soldiers risk their honor and reputation to pick on some guy just because they were pissed, and rightfully so, that you talked your way out of jail? If you haven't noticed we still won the war! They don't need to prove anything to anyone!"

"Yes, because the soldiers of the Earth Kingdom played such large role in winning the war. It's not like my uncle handed you your capital city back, and the Avatar handed my brother the crown or anything."

"They've played their part for the last hundred years! And they have the right to feel betrayed because your release invalidated everything they've done to give us our country back! I don't know what you said in that conference room that day, but it was an insult to justice." Suki tossed the scroll back to Azula, and grit her teeth angrily, but put on a resolute face. "I've trained since I was a child to enforce justice in a world where justice may not always be served. Don't come here, telling me how to do my job. I'll find the men who did this, soldiers or not. You have my word, Princess Azula."

"Then call this crime by it's name, Captain Suki, because it's not just a murder, it's a hate crime."

When they finally left, Ty Lee felt as if her knees would give out at any time. She quickly stumbled towards a tree to prop herself upon.

The other two women stayed back near the entrance of the house, conversing quietly amongst themselves. She saw her leader look up towards her, and turn back to the Fire princess, giving her a small nod. With that, the princess seemed satisfied enough to end the conversation and take her leave, heading towards the path leading to town.

The Kyoshi leader turned back towards the house to issue orders to the guards for that evening.

* * *

Her legs protested, as she hurried down the dirt path after Azula. When she caught up, the procession of Royal Guards parted, revealing a palanquin she hadn't noticed when Azula arrived.

The princess exited, regarding Ty Lee impassively before continuing down the road. The guards instantly fell back out of earshot to give the two privacy, following behind them with a now empty palanquin.

Ty Lee cursed silently at the princess' antics as she followed her.

"What did you say to Suki?" She questioned shortly.

"Well hello to you too, Ty Lee. I wasn't sure if they taught etiquette at that backwater of an island. But now, I'm sure you're at the top of your class in that topic."

"I don't want to play games anymore, Azula." She made a determined face, though the other girl was not looking at her.

"Oh really? Us? Playing games? How nostalgic. It's like we're children again."

"Can't you stop, already?!"

The village was within sight, and several passersby heading in the opposite looked curiously over at the two.

The princess looked over her shoulder amusedly at the Kyoshi warrior who stood in the middle of the road, glaring at her.

"Oh? Are you done trembling like a coward in the background? Think your opinion will matter more, now that you've learned to yell and throw tantrums like a child?"

"I..."

"You're being paranoid."

"I'm sorry." She turned to leave, feeling the conversation head to perilous grounds.

"Ty... when are you coming home?" Azula called after her.

Ty Lee stopped in her tracks at the plainness of the question.

"It's apparent this work is not for you. So why don't you just go back?" The princess continued, "You can go back and enjoy the life you were born into. There's no need for you to get your hands dirty like this. None of the other nobles seem to feel the need to take on any responsibility."

Ty Lee flinched at being reminded of the life she chose to scorn so long ago, as much as the icy sarcasm in the princess' voice.

"What are you trying to say?"

"You can't just paint your face, and decide to have a new identity. Ty Lee is Ty Lee, after all."

"I'm not going back. I can't."

There was more traffic on the road as the sun set. The palanquin a little ways down drew considerable attention from the villagers heading home for the day. She tried to remember the sunsets she would see from her room as a child.

"And why can't you?" The princess challenged.

A silence settled upon them for several moments before she could focus her thoughts.

"You know, when we were little, everyone around us always talked about how great the war was. How much honor it would bring us. How the soldiers fighting for us were true heros and everything. And somewhere along the line, I realized they were wrong. And everything I've been told was a lie."

The princess made no attempt at a response, and she wondered if she was just making a fool of herself.

"I was there, though. I was one of those soldiers that were supposed to be the defenders of our nation. So what did that make me, when I betrayed you? Nevertheless, I believed them. I believed them when they said the Avatar was creating a better world. I really actually believed I was doing something good for the world. I even joined the Kyoshi warriors."

She breathed in deeply to stop her voice from breaking.

"So why are all these damn people still killing each other?! And why? Why am I so damn lost? I don't paint my face so I can be someone else, I just don't know who I am anymore! Was there a point to my defying everything I've known? Cause everyone is still at war with each other. And I'm still a soldier. And I'm still not a hero. And the only difference after everything, is that I don't have anything anymore."

She crumbled to her knees, more tired than she's ever been.

"Ty Lee..." Azula sighed, rubbing her temples.

"I'm not done." Ty Lee forced a dry laugh. "You were right, you know. I didn't really care about your trial. I was only interested because I wanted to see how the world would crucify you during your trial, if only to justify my actions to myself. I just wanted to feel something. Anything, but than this numbness." She dragged a shaking hand through her hair. "I thought I'd at least really cry when they hanged you. But they didn't. And now here you are, feeling sorry for me, when I don't deserve it in the slightest. And here I am. Still so clueless. I don't know anything. I know nothing about being a soldier. Nothing about patriotism. Nothing about doing anything for my country. Only that there are Earth Kingdom soldiers everywhere in the Fire Nation, the Capitol, in my people's homes, and everywhere people kill and hate each other, and that, is the better, more peaceful world I've contributed to. A world where I'm a betrayer. And that was my only act of heroism."

Azula sighed tiredly, watching the red-streaked sky. Ty Lee sat with her face buried in her hands.

"Ty Lee... the war was a mistake." For the first time, the princess seemed to struggle with her words. "It was meant to build a new world. And you have to destroy to create. But somehow we got too caught up in the destroying to create anything meaningful. The war should have ended when it did, no matter who won." The princess sniffed, rolling her eyes. "It's the same for you. Now that you've done away with the past, it's time for you to build a new positive life."

"Is that something your uncle told you?" Ty Lee asked sarcastically into her hands.

"No. It's something I realized while in my cell, because of your visits." Azula chuckled bitterly. "Though, when imagining my better life, I imagined never having to suffer your annoying, weepy, incessant rambling again. Looks like, we both lose."

"Didn't you hear me?! I wanted you to be put to death, just so I could get a kick out of it!" Ty Lee looked up incredulously.

"I got bored of listening, to be honest." Azula studied her nails dispassionately. "Many people wanted me to die at that time. You're not special or unique."

The princess sighed and studied the floor next to Ty Lee contemptuously before sitting down.

"Ty Lee, I know how you feel. The world has changed so much, and you aren't sure if you belong in it anymore. It's not at all like how you thought it would turn out. You're uncertain and scared, but you need to-"

"Stop telling me what I need to do! That's what I rejected the moment I attacked you at the Boiling Rock. So you lost everything, but got it all back! Congratulations! You don't have to come here, and rub it in, and try to fix my life too! I don't need your damn pity!"

"Oh is that how you see it? In case you haven't noticed, I have armed guards following me everywhere! Why would I even come to this disgusting peasant town, if it wasn't a hundred times worse in the palace?! You are unbelievably pathetic if you envy me! I don't in the least pity you, though you seem to have enough self-pity for the both of us!"

Azula stood and motioned for the palanquin to come to her.

"There is something else going on here Ty Lee, and you need to stop lying. You're not that good at it, so stop embarrassing yourself." Azula climbed on the palanquin without another word.

Ty Lee sat on the side of the quiet road watching the last rays of the sun die out. She closed her eyes-

_-and wondered when she opened them, if the sun would have risen again and the events of the day would not exist anymore._

_Again and again, without fail she would see his gnarled black fingers and hollow expression._

_They said the assassin was a young sentry from the colonies, the one that always smiled at her with his curious green eyes, as she passed, the one that showed her firebending tricks, forming flickering orange tulips or a ferocious dragon wriggling in the air. He said he learned it from a magician he'd met while traveling with the circus, and that he wished he could have shown his late mother, looking very sad for a moment. Then she would show him her new triple flip to cheer him up, and wonder if she was good enough for the circus._

_They called him a traitor and names she didn't understand. Her father and other nobles began locking their windows at night. There were guards in front of her school and in every classroom._

_She couldn't sleep. Not without the image of a flaming dragon swallowing her up, the air growing hotter and hotter until she couldn't breathe, and she would wake up screaming, even after she remembered that she had fallen asleep hiding under the covers._

_Today, she had fallen asleep while hiding in a cupboard for a game. When the princess found her, she had screamed and had an embarrassing accident. Princess Ursa had taken Azula away with a stern look on her face, as she waited for her mother to come get her._

_She just started school and she already made such a dumb mistake, her sisters will never let go of it. And after they all began envying her for becoming the young princess' friend, too. Now the princess will never talk to her again._

_She wasn't sure why Azula chose her. The princess was always scowling, until she realizes she was being watched, then she would put on an air of impassivity. She wasn't sure what would make the young princess have such a churning black aura all the time, but she was sure five-year-olds shouldn't have such auras; hers was always pink, after all. Almost always._

_The image of the general's lifeless body floated into her imagination again. And she couldn't help closing her eyes and holding her breath again._

_She didn't have friends anymore, and now her arm hurts when she wants to breathe. She just wished..._

_"What are you doing?"_

_"Huh?!" She squeaked, ducking under her covers in fright._

_"Stop pinching yourself. Are you dumb?"_

_"Oh Azula! It's just you!"_

_The princess scowled at the 'just' in her words._

_"And what are you?" The princess replied._

_"What?" She blinked twice. "Ty Lee is Ty Lee." She blushed, feeling foolish._

_"Wrong! Ty Lee is a coward." Azula smirked._

_"Oh Azula, I'm so sorry about your...I just..." she felt her eyes begin to cloud, and breath begin to hitch._

_Azula seemed unconcerned by her impending tears, and put on a mischievous smirk._

_"That was my dum-dum brother's closet. You should have seen the look on his face." Azula laughed._

_The sobs burst from her chest, even as she realized that the princess was not angry._

_She saw Azula roll her eyes at her._

_"Geez. What's wrong with you?"_

_"I-i-I'm sorry. I-" she could not continue as sobs shook her small body._

_The five year old princess sighed, and lay herself on Ty Lee's bed, staring at the ceiling ignoring the crying girl._

_"Listen, Ty, you don't have to be scared of that traitor anymore."_

_"H-how did you-"_

_"Just be quiet and listen!" Azula scowled at being interrupted._

_She sniffed dramatically before quieting down, besides the sound of her ragged breathing from her cry._

_"You don't have to be scared anymore. They caught him. They won't announce it until they find the imbecile who let him become a sentry."_

_It was evident she wasn't as relieved as the princess thought she would be, and Azula scowled._

_"Well?!"_

_She began to whimper again._

_"B-but he was my friend! Why would he-"_

_"No he wasn't! He was a dirty mixed blood Earth peasant! And a petty murderer! That general was his father, Ty. Earth Kingdom barbarians can only feel the basest emotions, like vengeance. He was never your friend. We should burn his whole village down in the war."_

_"But that's so sad! The poor general!" She wailed._

_"He was a general! He died in a position of great honor. He was a soldier that died for his country. That's what they do. It's romantic." The princess rolled her eyes._

_"Romantic?" She sniffed._

_"Yes, Ty Lee. It's like in the Fire Nation historical epics. A soldier dying for his country is the greatest thing they can do."_

* * *

**_A/N: Well hello there. I was going to mention this in the last chapter, but it got really wordy and I type most of my chapters on my phone, so I didn't. We've reached the halfway point! Woot. This was actually meant to be a one-shot, but I like it too much. Then it was supposed to be a three chapter fic. But I felt that adding an opposing POV to temper Azula's would make the work more three dimensional. Hence our second female lead. :) Anyways, I thank everyone that has read my fic! I really appreciate the reviews! ^^ Writing fanfiction again has been a joy, and I feel very good about this one. I never used to finish anything on my old account. xD This particular chapter was especially difficult to finish, because I took so long on it. And I always end up hating everything I write after a couple days. This chapter almost went in the e-dumpster. Wow, I always get long-winded on author notes, that's why I prefer not to do this, so I shall just bid you all adieu. :3 Again, thanks to all of you._**


	5. Morals

_Her knife fell to the floor leaving only a small blemish in the center of the target._

_"It's okay, Ty. Your accuracy is great, just put a little more into it. You want it to do some damage, right?"_

_She wasn't sure what she wanted to damage and why she would want to hurt anything at all. She looked blankly at Mai in hopes of conveying her confusion, but the older girl only returned the same expression._

_"Right." She murmured uncertainly._

_Mai nodded, throwing her own knife with deadly precision._

_"But why?"_

_ The older girl contemplated the question so impassively, she wondered if she had been heard. _

_"My mother says court ladies are not soldiers. But we still need to know how to defend our family."_

_"From what?" _

_"That's a good question…" Mai's attention traveled to a conspicuously empty spot next to them, addressing the one missing from their practice session. Various emotions flickered on the older girl's face, detailing a begrudging acceptance that she could not will away the question. "The Court. Probably."_

_"Oh I see…" she replied, still inquisitive. _

_Mai went back to her practicing in silence. As she watched the other girl raise her knife for what would undoubtedly be another perfect throw, a question struck her._

_"But why?"_

_ "It's nothing to be worried about."_

_Mai finished her throw, slightly off mark. Again, the taciturn girl's attention drifted to the unoccupied space next to them._

_"The princess sure has been through a lot lately; Princess Ursa disappeared, and General Iroh didn't come home in time for Prince Lu Ten's funeral. They brought his body back this week… Poor Azula…" she pouted as the other girl murmured a reply, the atmosphere around her seemed heavier than ever; even her parents had been worried when Princess Ursa went missing. _

_Her mother had been close friends with the Princess, often whispering amongst themselves after sending the servants away. Since Princess Ursa's disappearance, her father had been in poor spirits, especially after they were not given their usual seats next to the Fire Lord and his family during Fire Lord Ozai's coronation, instead, they had to sit with the other nobles, while Mai's family retained their seats next to the new Fire Lord. Ever since that, her father had constantly encouraged her to play with Princess Azula, and to always be nice and courteous to the young princess. _

_Lately, she had found herself in the company of Mai much more than the princess. Though, in fact, it was the princess who introduced her to the silent girl shortly after the incident with the young sentry. The princess and Mai had grown up playing with one another since they were babies, and would talk about things that she did not understand, sometimes. Nevertheless, the older girl was always kind, and listened to her, and helped her with school work, even when she asked too many questions. Her father didn't seem to like that, and told her not to tell Mai too many things. It was rather difficult considering she was the one usually doing most of the talking. _

_She watched Mai complete another perfect shot. And another. And another._

_"You sure are good at that.."_

_Something in her nine year old heart compelled her to ask suddenly, the phantom image of hollow eyes looming in the threshold of her mind, "You wouldn't actually hurt anyone, would you Mai?"_

_Again, Mai's silent contemplation filled the courtyard with silence._

_"I wouldn't." Mai replied, shaking her head slightly._

_She let go of the breath she was holding and put on a smile-_

-not without bitterness, because just as there was a silent understanding when Mai and Azula nodded at each other as an enemy fell to hidden blades so long ago during their Earth kingdom campaign, there was an understanding in the morning clamour of the Kyoshi barracks. But this time she was aware. And with the events of the day before, the stares ate at her.

Their captain sat in her office, already buried in the day's work.

"Suki, I'm going to question the Earth Kingdom soldiers in town."

She tried to escape the office before the inevitable.

"Umm...Ty Lee. I don't know... I mean, you don't have to."

She sighed, one hand still on the doorknob, feeling what remnants of her façade crumble away.

Turning around with a smile, she asked, "Why not?"

"Well, you must still be tired from yesterday. Why don't you take the day off?" Suki looked up from her work to give her a kind smile.

The smile dropped from Ty Lee's face.

"Suki, when are you going to stop treating me like a damn invalid?"

Shock and hurt registered on the Kyoshi captain's face before settling onto her most diplomatic face.

"Ty Lee, we really appreciate your work here, but-"

"Oh stop patronizing me! I know exactly how helpful I've been lately. If you want to get rid of me, just say so!"

"No one is trying to get rid of you! So you're going through some things right now. Fine. But you left your post without saying anything; you make a scene with the Fire Nation princess in the middle of a crowded road; you don't tell us anything after we find you, a drunken mess, in the most reprehensible part of town. People talk, Ty. The Kyoshi warriors have a reputation; a name. I won't let it be tarnished under my leadership."

"I'll only bring you trouble, if you keep me."

"You're my friend. I don't want to see you ruin yourself for something that's not your fault."

She laughed dryly.

"Quite the friend. I know exactly what you all think of me."

Suki furrowed her brows.

"I don't know what you mean by that."

"Once a traitor, always a traitor. I know what kind of words were said behind my back when I said I wanted to attend Azula's trial. You didn't even trust me enough to let me talk to her alone in prison. I couldn't deliver two letters without you standing outside. Why'd you lend me the money if you didn't want me to bail her out? Were you testing me?"

"Ty Lee, you're being paranoid..." the Kyoshi captain eyed her cautiously.

"Screw that!" She snarled, feeling her breath begin to labor and her nails dig into her palms.

"I was worried about you. I'm trying to help you."

"Oh, spare me your kindness! Pardon me your charity! I don't need your help!"

"You're right. I don't think that I can help you Ty Lee, I think you need to see someone. You need to talk to someone about-"

"What is that?"

Suki grimaced, following Ty Lee's line of sight.

"It's a letter from the Fire Lord."

"Ha! What do you take me for? You think I can't tell between the Fire Lord's crest and the Princess'?"

Suki bit her lip.

"What did you tell her?!"

Without letting her answer, Ty Lee laughed hysterically.

"You told her, didn't you?! Did she have a good laugh?!" She spat shrilly.

"Ty. Stop! Where are you going?"

She fled from the barracks towards town, intending to repeat the previous night.

* * *

When she arrived, several people were fleeing from a scene in front of the bar. She approached, spotting a crowd of green armored men.

"I told everyone to clear out!" Their captain, a large bald man, growled, his voice slurring slightly. She recognized him as the soldier that had fought with the old colonist that had been killed.

"What's going on here?" She walked forward, enough for the crest on her shoulder to become visible.

"Oh a Kyoshi warrior! Are you here to ask about that coyote fox attack? I don't know much about arguments between kin. The old man was a groveling hamster dog anyways." The captain looked around at his men with a grin, fresh scratch marks on one side of his face.

The soldiers laughed loudly. Ty Lee spotted a young girl with a split lip trapped between them.

"Perhaps. But I'm sure you know much about being a slobbering pig cow."

"What?!" He lunged at her drunkenly.

When her fist made contact with his arm, she knew she had missed his pressure point. His arm hung limply at his side: broken.

The Earth Kingdom captain roared in pain, his men holding him back.

"We are sorry for our transgression. It won't happen again." A soldier called behind him as his squad retreated.

"Dammit! They got away! The bastards ripped me off! Thanks a lot Ms. Kyoshi Warrior..." The wounded girl yelled after the soldiers, stomping her feet indelicately, the frayed ends of her gaudy dress darkened in the ensuing dust cloud.

"Solicitation is against the law." Ty Lee replied with a frown, studying the large burn running the length of the other women's neck. She couldn't be more than a couple years older than the Fire national.

Noticing the Kyoshi warrior's line of sight, she huffed a laugh, tracing the scar lightly.

"What do you know? You're just a child. We all have to eat, somehow. We can't all be esteemed Kyoshi Warriors. Heck. During the war, we were encouraged! They likened us to heroes! Providing relief to our hard-working soldiers and suffering civilians. Damn stooges. I can't complain, I didn't starve. My sister was proud. She wasn't as lucky."

"The war is over. You can move on now. Find honest work."

"There is no 'moving on'. It's a small village, they all know what I am. I'm marked." She smiled bitterly, "Literally. I can't even shop at the markets at the regular times, let alone find work there. They spit at me as I pass, as if I'm vermin. Acting so damn high and mighty. My work is honest, we don't give in to pretentious social hierarchies. We were no different than any other suffering from the war, but society has forgotten us. The war is over. But we're still fighting for our right to live."

Ty Lee grit her teeth at those familiar words.

"Why don't you go somewhere else?"

"It's not something you can understand. You are part of the privileged. You can go where ever you please. You think it'll make a difference if I leave? I have nothing and no one. I live by the day. Look at me! One look tells you I'm despicable. Just like I can tell you're a noble just listening to you. The poor live and die where they're born. It has always been that way. Only nobles can have such hopeful thinking. Most of us... we have bound feet*."

"Hopeful?"

Ty Lee wanted to scoff.

"Yes. I can say, we had it during the war. At least we had hope. Hope that something would change. Hope that it can still get better. Now that it's all over, we really have nothing."

Ty Lee sighed. Not knowing how to respond, she pulled out several notes.

"Here. Sorry I let those guys get away."

The addressed chuckled into her hand.

"If only all of my jobs were so easy." She smiled sincerely before thrusting her chin in the air with mock haughtiness, "No. I don't need your charity. I'm a working woman. I earn my keep."

Ty Lee tried to smile herself.

"It's still against the law."

"Then, what are you going to do about it?" The other woman challenged, shrugging.

"Nothing."

She received a thankful nod in response. Turning away from the tavern, she spotted a palanquin in the distance.

* * *

"Well, you sure were brutal. Your captain is livid. It's not possible for the Kyoshi Warriors to make a case against him now. Great job."

"How long have you been watching me?"

"Is that all you care about right now? You could lose your job."

"I was probably going to anyways."

"Your friend wouldn't let you down like that."

"I don't know who my friends are."

"You're paranoid. And a coward. But don't be a fool. You were hurt once, it doesn't mean the world is out to get you. You've surrounded yourself with people that legitimately care about you. Cherish that."

"Hurt?" She scoffed. "Is that how Suki described it? I'm tired. So tired of everyone lying to me. Of how nothing is actually getting better. Nothing has changed."

"You sound almost as pathetic as that swindler you were speaking to."

"You're exactly the type of person that takes one look at people and decide they're despicable! You don't understand the suffering of others at all!"

"In case you haven't noticed, you were born a noble too, Ty Lee. Don't give me your tired and tried moral arguments. Just go back to the life you chose yourself."

"What moral arguments?! What _morality_? I just broke a man's arm! And not one fiber of me regrets it. I liked it. I felt _alive_. Reminded me of the good old days." She chuckled bitterly.

"The war is not the 'good old days', Ty Lee. You don't honestly think that."

"Better than now! Better than all this running around, thinking we've actually done any good. Parading like no one is sick or dying. Or worse. Glorifying ourselves. What are we?!" Ty Lee huffed, the weight of her words leaving her breathless. "Not the good days? Explain to me this, then! How did we get here? We're miserable! Shadows of what we used to be during the war. We were happy then. We were wrong and destructive. But we were happy. We were children. We sacked countless towns and cities, but we got to be children, doing it. And now we have to face up to the mess we've made."

"Ty. Listen to yourself. What happened to 'the suffering of others'? You're confused." Azula paused, gritting her teeth at her next words. "We were the ones hurting people. We were the ones making people suffer. But you've done your part to stop it. None of the blame falls on you. You have no need to be afraid. The war is over."

"Afraid? I'm terrified! What kind of world is it that I could be so easily forgiven just for changing sides last minute? What kind of world do we live in, when the Fire Lord is a betrayer several times over? It makes me sick! The people had hope before! They had a better future to look forward to, and we took it away from them. It was our responsibility to stop their suffering!"

Azula flinched, cautiously looking around to make sure none of the Royal Guards were within earshot. Heaving a sigh, the princess continued levelly.

"You're just finding reasons to feel guilty, Ty Lee. Just let it go."

"I can't just let it go. The war is not over! It follows us where ever we go! Their blood is on our hands! Not just the blood of the men you and Mai assassinated during the war, but the blood of every man and woman that died for the Fire Nation cause! Surrendering the War was a betrayal to every one of them!" Her eyes widened, realizing the familiarity of her words.

"What right do you have speaking of betrayal?" The princess responded icily.

Ty Lee stared straight into golden eyes, breathing labored and ragged, unsure of how to break the silence that descended upon them. Sweat glistened on her forehead, though there was a chill in the pit of her stomach. Her fists clenched as a realization washed upon her. A thought she never had before.

"It's his fault! It's all your brother's doing! If it wasn't for him! Because of him!" Her mind raced from the sudden clarity she was hit with. "We would still be together, you, Mai, and me. He tore us apart, just as he tore our country apart! Nobles and factions struggling and killing each other for power, kissing his ass. It's _petty_! We've never been so divided and your brother does nothing but kowtow to the Earth King."

Azula laughed heartily.

"Those so called nobles are anything but noble. It has always been that way, you fool." Azula regarded her coldly, "I mean, you're just the same aren't you? Can't stay on one side very long… always looking for ways to ruin someone to get to the top. You spit on any flag you serve, don't you? Your logic is convoluted. You're hideously self-absorbed. You try to pin the blame on others, while simultaneously going on guilt trip after guilt trip. That way, you can shy away from taking any real responsibility, like the coward you are. After all, everything stems from your own immense sense of self-loathing. You can't face up to your actions, but you can't put them behind you. A weakling in every sense of the word. You can't even justify to yourself those morals you preach anymore. So you play the victim. And even I believed you for a while. What would you have us do, Ty Lee? Start the war all over again? Make sure you get the ending you want? It won't change anything. You can't go back. No matter how many times you hold your breath or pinch your arms_, you aren't a child anymore_."

"Are you sure it's me you're talking to, Azula?"

The princess had the slightest of reactions to that slight, in the form of a crease between her brows.

"I know the feeling of watching everything you believe in, slip away from your grasp, Ty. You need help. There's no shame in asking for it. You said so yourself."

"Yeah well I'm not crazy! And I don't need _your_ help."

"Look at yourself!" Azula motioned to her shaking fists, silently staining the green of her uniform from where her nails dug into her skin. "You're about to drive yourself insane, if you don't swallow your ridiculous arrogance."

"There's nothing wrong with me! Only something wrong with you! The Azula I know, would start the war over in a heartbeat!"

"The Azula you know, is tired! Tired of fighting; tired of being a weapon. But the world won't let me stop fighting until it has weathered away every fiber of my being. Then, I can die. That's not you. You don't have to do that. You can live." Azula gave her a gentle smile.

Ty Lee stared in disbelief at the princess' sudden vulnerability, feeling a pang of shame color her cheeks. Without another word, she turned to leave.

Azula's voice called from behind her.

"There are others like you, Ty. Soldiers struggling to go back to life without war. It's all they've known. It's the worst in Fire Nation soldiers, because they were never acknowledged after our loss. There will be a ceremony to honor them. You're expected there." The princess' voice quickly became agitated at the lack of response. "Dammit Ty! Everyone only wants to help you."

She grit her teeth, murmuring to herself.

"But why?"

She didn't deserve it—

_- not in the least. There was no explanation as to why this was happening to her. The chain of events leading up to this very moment, never once hinted at the tribulation she was enduring._

_The day began like any other. Waking up with the other Kyoshi warriors. A mission to be done. A criminal to be apprehended. A ruthless killer with no morals. They were right and he was wrong. This was justice._

_They found him at nightfall and he gave chase. She followed him into the forest. It was a mission like any other. Then he had her by the throat. _

_The back of her head collided with the dirt floor. Again. And again. And again. _

_"You damn Kyoshi bitch! What right do you have to chase me down like an animal?!"_

_"You're a killer." She responded hoarsely, scratching at the hands around her neck._

_"And so are you! The blood of thousands are on your hands. You took everything away from so many! A colony reclaimed here, a colony cut in half there; it means nothing to you does it?! Real people lived and thrived there. I lost my son in the war! He was a lieutenant! And I was a colonel! We were heroes! They were to make us nobility! And now let's see how much they care. We're nothing to them. Playthings. I return home to find my wife dead of grief. But at least I had her. My niece, my dear brother's child, here in the colonies. My hope. The jewel of my life. Do you know what these people did to her? They abused her, spat at her, a child of thirteen! So she drowned herself! And for what? For being a Firebender! They told us to stop fighting. To make peace. So why are we here still fighting for our right to live?!"_

_Her head met the earth over and over, until she was sobbing, but still the abuse never stopped._

_"I gave everything for my country. And I've never asked for one thing in return. Not one! Nothing from those damned nobles back at home. And you're just like them, you Earth Kingdom bitch. You think you know what justice is, just because you have power. You don't know anything! I've lost everything! If I'm destined to die like a dog, so will you!"_

_Her sight darkened around the edges, everything was blurred and surreal._

_When was it that she had felt like this? Never. Because she'd always had everything. She had everything, as a pampered child at home. But she chose to leave it, to join the circus. She had everything she could hope for at the circus. And chose to follow the Princess. So long as she followed the Princess, there was nothing that was not hers to have. But she chose to betray her, for justice. And she lost it all, but she still had Mai. At least she had a friend. At least they were together._

_What right had she to judge a man, when she's never felt his pain? To lose everything. His family. His dignity. He didn't deserve losing any of it. And if she were to die here, it may appease his suffering. Everything she had in life were given to her. Did she deserve it? A traitor to her friend. A betrayer of her nation._

_No._

_But still, no matter how detestable her life, or insignificant her being._

_She still wanted to live._

_She reached. Desperately. Feeling the hilt of her knife inches, but so far, away._

_"Shut up!" She screamed over his abuse, plunging the knife into his chest. Again. And again. And again. _

_She stabbed him until she was drenched in his blood, but didn't stop. Not until they found her in the middle of the forest, wide-eyed and in shock._

_"Ty Lee. Put down the knife. It's okay. I'm only here to help you. I'm your friend." Suki approached her slowly._

_But she couldn't. She couldn't put down the knife. She could only force a whisper._

_"But why?"_

* * *

_* _**Used ironically of course. Because foot binding was actually most common in upper class families. More info here: wiki/Bound_feet. Don't look at the pictures if you're squeamish! Interestingly, my great grandma (who is still alive and kicking :D) did not have bound feet, but a woman that lives in the same building as her did. They both grew up in that time period in China, but I guess my great grandma's parents were not as...demented...I mean traditional, even though they were pretty well off. Anyways, I was pretty much scarred after seeing the pics. :/  
**


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